Life updates! I reckon I needed to get more personal with this blog given my previous posts so here we go.
The past couple of months have not been as eventful as I hoped it would be. I graduated last July and I have spent the rest of my time figuring out what to do next – though I had always known what it is that I wanted, the fear of actually beginning has always kept me from doing so. But I’ve figured this much: I was not born to work for anybody other than myself. Not now, not ever.
See, graduating has rewarded me the liberty in finally getting to do what I want at my own pace and in my own ways. I am not about to just throw that away for the sake of money or peer pressure or anything. The wave of insecurities is long gone, the resurgence of self-doubt is currently being reduced as we speak, and the fear of beginning is slowly and constantly being eradicated. It won’t be easy, it will take time, hell, it might even consume half of my life to get there… but I don’t care. I know what I want and I’m not going to let it slip from my sight.
I’ve been making plans with friends overseas. Now, I ain’t much of a planner because, as you know, I loathe disappointments and hate people who cause them. But these plans seem to push me out of my comfort zone. For once in my life I actually considered working – for the sake of earning, of course – for our plans required spending. Lots of it. And my small business venture earnings simply isn’t going to suffice, so I just might for a while. I haven’t quite decided yet.
Oh, conflicting desires!
IN OTHER NEWS…
I will be turning 22 in four days.
People have been asking me of plans (there are only so many times I can justify myself) and as usual, like what I have been telling them for the past two years – I don’t have any! Only this time I truly meant it and I plainly don’t care. As far as I’m concerned, I stopped celebrating at 19 and stopped aging at 21, hence the title. Birthdays are overrated anyway.
I’ve also been indulging on a great deal of films, books, and art, now that I have all the time in the world, to gather inspirations. I’ve been thinking of putting up a separate art/photo blog for everything I’ve been doing just because it would be such a waste to keep it to myself. Anything you create is a waste unless you put it out there – another thing I’ve learned over the last two months. So yes, as soon as I get my new laptop (blogging from my mom’s is starting to get inconvenient) and finish my remaining errands, I am commencing Project New Blog.
Until then I will keep myself inspired as much as I can. x